That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
