my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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