me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize