and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
