Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
