The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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