No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
