I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize