Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
