It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
