his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
