I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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