hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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