i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
