similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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