I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize