soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need moral support for this bender
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
