yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
