there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just threw up on my dentist
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
