I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
