Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
