Having a random hookup so left but love u
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
