Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So here I am, sexting at work.
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