Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
