so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
