my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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