I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think I am morally bankrupt
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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