i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
