He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
