so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
did you just send me my own nude
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize