Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
