it wasn't lemon gatorade
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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