Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
