Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize