remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You are a genius and a whore.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize