you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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