Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize