My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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