He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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