So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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