WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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