he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize