I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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