you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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