You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
