I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
