did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize