the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
