she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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