Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
