You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Watching her eat just hurts me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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