sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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