at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
