Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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