I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
