how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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