he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
