and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
