Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
