I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
