when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
