I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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