3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
