I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
