last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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