Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
